FEED ME!

I have an eating disorder.

I'm not joking.

I cannot stop eating food. It is becoming a real problem. I don't know what led up to this moment but for at least the past three years I have become hyper aware of hunger, or even the feeling that I might, at some future date, feel hunger and I become ravenous.

It's really crossed the line over into abuse of my body. Which is awful, because I love my body, it's such a gift! It runs and jumps, mine came to me exceptionally bendy, it also came with moles all over my right shoulder. On top of that I have improved it with scars artfully placed up and down my left leg - almost like I planned it. I like it, it does things - and I am seriously concerned that if things don't change it will slowly stop doing things. That is a real problem.

I go to bed and it just lies there. I try to jostle it awake, perhaps we could have a pillow fight? But it doesn't want to. It wants to watch Biggest Loser while eating a chocolate root bear float. My body is becoming a real fuddy duddy, all it wants to do is eat. And it is horribly indiscriminate.

I mean old McDonald's french fries indiscriminate.

(If you have never known the humiliation of eating an old McDonald's french fry, I will tell you that it is right up there with going to sell your blood and finding that your ex is a phlebotomist)

I eat while wondering why, since I'm not hungry and cheeseburgers are gross.

I have to change. I have to reign this dang body in and show it who's boss. Come on, will! Where are you when I need you! We need to start a search party for my quads! Get your butt in the game! We can do this thing!

Will? self - wiiiillll? Where are you?

Oh crap, it's sitting here in it's ugly sweats blogging.